No, I won't dance with you because...


You may be wondering why I didn't want to dance with you. Probably you weren't wondering at all and didn't think anything of it but if you were then here is the reason.

No, I won't dance with you because I'm too drunk.
No, I won't dance with you because I'm too sober.
No, I won't dance with you because I'm too sweaty.
No, I won't dance with you because there are too many people on the dance floor.
No, I won't dance with you because there aren't enough people on the dance floor.
No, I won't dance with you because this track is half way through already.
No, I won't dance with you because this track is just starting and I can't tell yet whether I can dance to it.
No, I won't dance with you because the music is too fast.
No, I won't dance with you because the music is too slow.
No, I won't dance with you because the music is too obscure.
No, I won't dance with you because the music is too obvious.
No, I won't dance with you because the music is a charleston  and I have no idea how to dance charleston.
No, I won't dance with you because the music calls for balboa  and I have no idea how to dance balboa.
No, I won't dance with you because the music is latin and I have no idea how to dance latin.
No, I won't dance with you because the music is blues and I don't know you well enough to dance blues.
No, I won't dance with you because the music is 3/4 and I have no idea how to waltz. Neither do you. We'd look ridiculous.
No, I won't dance with you because I know this track and it starts OK but it has a long challenging drum solo in the middle.
No, I won't dance with you because I don't know this track but it might have a long challenging drum solo in the middle.
No, I won't dance with you because the music seems OK but the last one this DJ played started off OK but then went horrid.
No, I won't dance with you because the music seems OK and so were the last few the DJ played but this DJ specialises in ambushing dancers with horrid undanceable tracks and I bet this will be the one.
No, I won't dance with you because I hate this DJ so much that I won't dance to anything they play.
No, I won't dance with you because you are the DJ and I have told everybody how much I hate your music so it would be hypocritical for me to dance with you.
No, I won't dance with you because I've danced with you too many times already and I don't know any more moves and I'm afraid you'd be bored.
No, I won't dance with you because I've danced with you too many times already and I don't know any more moves and I'm afraid I'd be bored.
No, I won't dance with you because I asked you before and you said no.
No, I won't dance with you because I asked you before and you said you were too tired but then straight after I saw you dancing with somebody else.
No, I won't dance with you because I asked you before and you said the music was too fast but then straight after I saw you dancing with somebody else.
No, I won't dance with you because you're too ugly.
No, I won't dance with you because you're too beautiful.
No, I won't dance with you because you're not a very good dancer.
No, I won't dance with you because you're much too good a dancer.
No, I won't dance with you because you look a bit grumpy when you're dancing.
No, I won't dance with you because you get too excitable when you're dancing.
No, I won't dance with you because you're wearing high heels and are clearly not serious about dancing.
No, I won't dance with you because you're wearing patent pumps and are clearly far too serious about dancing.
No, I won't dance with you because you have scary tattoos and/or piercings.
No, I won't dance with you because you look a bit boring.
No, I won't dance with you because your clothes are too shabby. 
No, I won't dance with you because your clothes are too smart.
No, I won't dance with you because you're not wearing enough clothes.
No, I won't dance with you because you asked me and I wanted to be the one to ask you.
No, I won't dance with you because you've seen me at several previous events and you never asked me before so it's a bit late now.
No, I won't dance with you because you agreed to dance with that other guy who I don't like.
No, I won't dance with you because you refused to dance with that other guy who's a friend of mine.
No, I won't dance with you because you've been dancing with guys who are really bad dancers.
No, I won't dance with you because you've been dancing with guys who are really good dancers.
No, I won't dance with you because you've been dancing with old ugly guys.
No, I won't dance with you because you've been dancing with young handsome guys.
No, I won't dance with you because the last time we danced it didn't go very well.
No, I won't dance with you because you look a bit like somebody I danced with and it didn't go very well and I'm not sure if it was you or not but just to be on the safe side I'd better say no.
No, I won't dance with you because the last time we danced you headed off afterwards just a little bit too abruptly at the end.
No, I won't dance with you because the last time we danced you gave me a helpful tip which obviously was not meant to be a criticism but certainly felt like one.
No, I won't dance with you because I looked you up on facebook and I didn't like something I saw there.
No, I won't dance with you because I find you annoying.
No, I won't dance with you because the last time I approached you to ask you to dance with me you ignored me and went off to dance with this other guy even though he was already dancing with somebody else.

I hope that makes it clear why I didn't want to dance with you. In case you were wondering.

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